You will be missed..

This morning I woke up groggily. I haven't been sleeping well for the past two days. It's like my heart is not settled. I should've known it was a sign. 

After bathing and praying, I went to my mom's room to kiss her before I left for school. My mother and my sister who was wide awake stared at me emptily. Then my sister said, 

"Na, Remo is dead,"

Such a short line but a powerful impact. I fell beside the bed, asking her to repeat. They just stared at me again quietly.

I should've seen it coming. He has been sick for the past few days. I told my father just the other day but I guess it was too late. 

Yesterday we crowded beside you, talking to you, teasing you. You tried to open your mouth but nothing came out. I know the way your neck stretches when you're about to say something but this time nothing came out. 

"He fell and now he's as hard as a rock,"

My brother who just woke up was being ushered quickly to the bathroom like a robot, he barely had time to react. But once he's finished dressed, he sat on the bed crying in my sister's arm. 

I started crying. Remo has been a friend. More than that. He has been like a family. Always there when you needed to talk to him. Always answering your calls. Talking to you no matter when you're down or happy. And now he's just gone. 

I walked slowly towards downstairs. My brother tugs on my hand. Probably he's feeling it too. The cold. I just stood at the door, peeking inside to his place. It is true then. He's really gone. While I was bathing earlier, I was imagining sitting down, talking to him, asking why has he not been eating properly. Not talking. But I guess now its just too late. 

Dear Remo, 

I know in a million years you will never hear this words. But I hope you were happy when you were with us. Thank you for lighting up my day when I'm down and responding happily whenever I'm chirpy. I'm sorry I haven't been spending too much time with you, didn't make more time for you. Just know that in my heart you're a part of the family. It is so sad to see you go. You were an amazing companion. We could just sit quietly and still not feel lonely. Now the place will be empty. I don't think anyone can replace you. But I'm glad your suffering has ended. 

Bye my friend. 

I love you. 

We drove in silence to school. I had to get Syamir out of the house to settle everything. He just sat there staring out of the window. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"What you're thinking about?"

"Just Remo."

After a long pause, he said, "I'm gonna miss him,"

"I know baby but at least we know he's not suffering anymore."

"I know." 

Then he continues staring out the window.

When I dropped him at the school, he was still quiet. I tried distracting him, but he was just upset.

I waited till the teacher came.

"Teacher, our pet just died this morning. Could you please watch for Syamir today? When I left him, he was so quiet. I don't know how he's dealing with it. And if he couldn't concentrate or starts crying can you just call us?"

"Oh no. May I know what pet it is?"

"It's a bird,"

"Okay don't worry about it. I'll talk to him and make sure he's alright,"

"Thank you teacher so much.

Yes. Thank you teacher for not thinking this is a light matter and just dismiss it like that. 

Thank you Remo for the good times we had. I'll miss you despite being terrified to hold you. But we talked. And a lot of times I actually felt better talking to you. But what can I do? I didn't understand when you were telling me something. 

Have a safe journey.

                                   That time I gave you a shower and dried you up.